Here continues another night of Mary, Ally and Sarah’s life. As
they were getting ready for a new bedtime story, Mary said, “Ally, which
cartoon characters would you like for today’s story?”
Without taking a second, Ally said, “Mickey and Minnie. Mary, you
should start a completely new love story of Mickey and Minnie.”
Sarah continued on, “Yeah, it was really cute imagining Mickey and
Minnie as the main characters in the story.”
Mary said, “Alright. Sounds good. Here we go.”
Once upon a time there lived a prince
named Mickey. He had four brothers, whom he loved more than his life. The
brothers were known as Micpandavas. The Micpandavas' day would start with a morning
walk in an apple forest. During the walk, the brothers would do stupid things
such as yelling each other’s names and would hit and run. However, one day they
all decided to go in the evening to enjoy the pleasant weather. As they were
walking and talking, they saw five beautiful girls trying to grab apples from
the tree. The first time they normally walked through the girls, but then the
second time the Micpandavas kept their eyes on the girls while walking quietly and slowly.
One of the girls noticed and said to her
sisters, “You saw those guys?”
The oldest sister, named, Minnie, said, “Yes, we should leave from
here. Let’s go, sisters, before they come again.”
The girls quickly gathered their stuff and left. The sisters were
known as the Minikauravas sisters. They also had a strong bond of love between them
like Micpandavas. The Minikauravas had left by the time the Micpandavas came
again. So, all five Micpandavas had a favorite Minikaurava.
Therefore, they all planned to go for the walk around the same time the next
day to meet those beautiful Minikauravas sisters. Since the sisters looked alike, it was really easy to tell that they were sisters.
As they went by that same place the
Minikauravas were sitting on the ground talking while enjoying each bite of
apple. This time the Micpandavas were waiting to have some interaction with
Minikauravas. As Mickey was badly in love with Minnie’s beauty, he went
straight to her and he said, “I am Prince Mickey and they are my brothers. I am
madly in love with you. I want to make you my princess. Will you marry me?”
Then, Minnie said, “One thing I hate about myself is that I smell like an apple. Yes, I know apples smells great, but not if someone smell like it all the time. Mickey, I do not deserve to be your princess. You have such a great personality and
look at me. Who am I?” Then, Mickey said, “Do not worry about this. Apples
have a great smell, but I can promise you that you will not smell like an apple
after you marry me. I have an uncle who can magically make you smell like a rose.” While looking down Minnie said, “Yes, I will.”
On the other side, the other Micpandavas
were looking aggressively at Mickey’s face for not mentioning their names with
Minnie’s sisters. Finally, Mickey added, “On the day of our wedding five marriages will be held. Your four sisters will marry my four brothers.”
Mary said, “Here our story ends. They all live happily ever after. Goodnight, sisters.”
(Mickey and Minnie by source: Wikipedia)
Author's Note: I used Mickey and Minnie as my main characters. In the original story, it was the Pandavas and Kauravas. Pandavas were the five sons of Pandu by his two wives Kunti and Madri. But none of the Pandavas acted like stepbrothers. They had a true bond of love. In addition to that, the Panadava brothers married the same girl named Draupadi. I changed this idea of marrying the same girl because marrying different girls would make the story appealing. Thus, in my story, they each married one of the Minkaurava sister. In the original story, the Kauravas were sons of King Dhritarashtra, who was Pandu’s older brother. Pandu and Dhritarashtra seemed to have good a relationship, but their sons did not continue to have the same relation like their fathers. So, the Pandavas and Kauravas were cousins in relation, but the Kauravas and Pandavas had true hatred for each other. Kauravas and Panadavas were mostly boys, except for Duhsala, who was kauravas' sister. So, I changed the story a lot, in terms of gender, characters and the plot itself. The reason I did that was to make the story different and to make it a love story. Another thing, I thought that it was unfair for all Panadava brothers to marry the same girl. So, that made me change the story around. In addition to that, I also connected the story with the Ramayana. Rama and his brothers got married the same day.
This was a great story! I like that you switched the original characters out with ones that are more recognizable. This way I could really picture everyone in the story as the events took place. I think it is funny how different things were back in the day. For example, Mickey had never talked to Minney in your story before he asked her to marry him. This would never be acceptable today!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this story, Aysha. I would never have thought to incorporate cartoon characters into one of my stories. Great idea! To be honest, I had kind of forgotten about Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Your story brought me back to my childhood.
ReplyDeleteThe layout of your story is great. You do a good job of breaking it up into smaller paragraphs. This helps keep similar ideas and events together. Not to mention it makes the text as a whole easier to look at!
One thing that I would like to see added to your story is a little more detail about how Mickey came to be enamored with Minnie. You mention that Mickey watched Minnie as she picked apples, but you did not mention how Mickey felt about this. Did he think that she was beautiful when he first saw her? Graceful? Elegant?
Also, I noticed a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Laura gave me great advice on one of my stories. She said to read the story once, only checking for grammar errors. Then, read it a second time, only checking for punctuation errors. It can really help you notice mistakes that you would otherwise miss.
Other than those few things, the story was great! The application of cartoon characters was a novel and entertaining approach.